What An Absurd World
by vvchan
Summary: Two girls of the LexiChat make their dream come trueEdward spends his time with them.Taking place in an absurd world. We had lots of fun with it in the Chat....so enjoy it!and review!


This story was written by Finny and me. After we had our little "dreamland sessions" in the LexiChat we thought it was time to write some of it down. It's taking place in an absurd world so nevermind strange phenomenons occuring. :) Thanks to Wolfi for the Beta. Hope you all enjoy it. Here we go!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately we do not own Edward or the world of Twilight...but we own our dreams. Forever.

What an absurd World

Another sunny day in a small town in Finland, Europe. But even though it's sunny, Edward Cullen and Finny are sitting inside, watching movies. Suddenly Finny, who has been leaning her head on Edward's shoulder, sits up and says:  
"You know who should be here right now, Ed?"  
"No, who?" (Authors note: I know Edward can read minds but since this an absurd world, his ability has been "turned off" for a while.) "Verena. You know, the girl from Germany."  
"Oh right, her. Wait... didn't she help you kidnap me once?" Finny blushes and looks down.  
"Actually twice... but that's not important now. Here are the keys to my super plane, you go and get her here." (AN: The super plane is fast as a rocket!)  
"Yes, ma'am," Edward says and runs out of the house.  
Five minutes later, Verena hears a knock at her door.  
"I wonder who it could be?" she ponders and goes to open the door. "EDWARD!" she screams as she sees who's behind the door and faints. Edward carries her to the super plane and flies back to Finland and Finny's house. Ver wakes up just in time to walk up to Finny's door and knock. Finny opens the door.  
"VERENA! HEY!" she screams and jumps on Ver. Ver hugs her back and screams, as well. Edward has been watching this with a smile on his face. Ver looks at him and she sees the smile. She faints again. Edward catches her and he and Finny wait for her to regain her consciousness.  
"What should we do now?" Ver asks as Edward is helping her up from the floor.  
"I don't know..." Finny answers. "I already watched all the movies with Edward. I don't want to do that anymore"  
"I have an idea." Edward says still holding Ver.  
"Oh? What is it?" Finny asks.  
"It's a secret" He says and smiles his crooked smile. Ver faints yet again.  
"You sure faint a lot, Ver." Edward says when she wakes up again.  
"It's because you dazzle me! Have you ever looked into a mirror?"  
"Oh right...That. Well sorry about that. But don't get me wrong, I don't mind catching you, honey." The crooked smile is on his face again and guess what happens. Yes, that's right, Ver faints.  
Ver eventually woke up and Edward led Finny and Ver to the nearby forest. Both Ver and Finny are having a hard time keeping their balance and Edward has to catch them numerous times.  
"Where are we going, Ed?" Ver asks after awhile of tripping. Edward doesn't answer, he just turns his head from side to side like he's looking for something.  
"Don't tell me we are lost, Ed..." Ver says, horror in her voice. Edward still doesn't say anything. He takes the girls by their hands and leads them through some bushes. They see a very beautiful meadow before them. Edward laughs as he sees the disbelieving looks on Ver and Finny's faces.  
"It's not possible for me to get lost, Ver. You should know that."  
"I do, I'm sorry I just panicked."  
"It's always fine, sweetheart. I still love you." Ver faints again. Edward takes her to lean against the huge oak tree in the middle of the meadow. Finny walks around among the flowers and makes a nice little bouquet. She then goes to sit by Edward and leans her head on Edwards shoulder.

Edward, having the heads of the girls on his shoulders, smiles and mumbles:

"Isn't that a perfect day for a man like me?"

He laughs softly, which makes Ver almost faint again and Finny giggle.

"Oh Finny, sweetheart, I have an idea. Why don't you write this little story down?" Out of nowhere he takes out a laptop and hands it to Finny, our little genius who built the super plane.(Actually the girls just didn't notice Edward had a backpack with him, as they were mostly dazzled by his smile and his elegant way of saving them from tripping.)

Finny starts typing immediately and Ver soon falls asleep in the sun, her head still on Edward's shoulder. He puts his arm around her so that she feels comfortable. The three of them are sitting in the sun, Finny enjoys watching Edward's glimmering skin.

"Edward?"

"Mh….?"

"Thank you for this wonderful time you spend with us."

"MH….thank you….Edward….." Ver mumbles in her half-sleep.

"Oh sweethearts! You're so welcome. I love spending time with you." He closes his eyes and he seems to enjoy his company.

The girls and Edward sit in the meadow till the sun starts setting. Then Edward wakes Ver up and helps her and Finny on their feet.

"Now what, Edward?" Ver asks, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Edward puts the laptop back into his backpack.

"I thought it might fun to go see the others in the chat room."

"Oh yea! They are probably just getting in there, considering the time difference, " Finny says looking at her watch. "But... Where exactly is the room located?" Edward and Ver look puzzled.

"Come to think of it, I have no idea," Edward admits and looks confused.

"Me neither," Ver agrees. They stand there in silence for few minutes. Suddenly Finny screams.

"I know who can help us find the chat room!"

"Who?" Edward and Ver ask in unison.

"My super plane has a supercomputer in it. The computer (which is soooo much better than my real one) knows the answer to everything."

"Great! Lets get back to the plane then," Ver says and starts walking away. But, this being an absurd world, the plane appears into the meadow out of thin air. The three of them stare at it for awhile but then just shrug and go inside. Finny goes to ask the supercomputer while Edward goes to fly the plane with Ver.

While Finny is searching the chat room with her supercomputer Edward and Ver argue about who should fly the plane! Edward had immediately grabbed the steering wheel but Ver had jumped on Edward. Now she's making puppy-dog-eyes.

"Please-------let me!"

"No!"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!"

"No!"

"Why not"

"I have the better reflexes!"

"But….I painted the super plane!" (AN: the whole inside is painted with manga characters resembling Edward)

"I don't mind! I wanna go fast!"

"But I mind!"

Finny enters the cockpit and takes the steering wheel now.

"When two argue the third one is the lucky one. Fasten your seatbelts, please!"

"You know where to go?" Edward and Ver say in disbelief.

"Sure, I do."

And off they fly!

To be perfectly honest, Finny had no idea where to go. She just enjoyed the look the others had on their faces. The supercomputer had pondered on the question for awhile but then just cyber-spat on Finny and went back to sleep. Now Finny was trying to figure out where to go while Ver and Edward fought over who gets the co-pilot seat. Suddenly they see a white cube floating in mid-air. Finny brings the plane into a halt and turns to the others.

"Do you guys see that?" Ver and Edward nod, staring at the cube.

"Do you think that could be the chat room?" Ver asks.

"Yes, I would say it's possible." Edward agrees.

"Well then... Let's go check it out." Finny flies to the other side of the cube and finds a landing area. The cube is indeed the chat room and for, and in, the chat room everything is possible. Still an absurd world, don't forget that.

Having left the super plane the three are now standing on a white platform in front of that huge white cube. They look at it and shake their heads at the very same time. You can hear three mumbles.

"Absurd!"

They smile at each other, then Edward makes the first step toward the large white door to open it for the girls in his best gentleman behaviour. He even bows when Finny and Ver pass by, which causes Ver another – you know what – fainting. Finny sighs with a huge smile as Edward saves Ver another time from hitting the floor.

" Oh Ver, you should get used to that! I'll never leave you two again!" says Edward with a gentle smile on his angel like face. This time even Finny joins Ver's fainting and so Edward enters the chat room with two girls in his arms.

They look around and see stunned faces.

"Good evening, Twilighters!", says Edward with his charming, velvet voice. People in the chat room just stand in awe for a moment. But then they regain their insanity and Edward finds himself buried under a pile of teenage girls. The only exception is Booky.

"I would jump on you guys, but I'm preoccupied at the moment," she explains. Finny and Ver see she is sitting in Jeff's lap, ruffling his hair.

"We just came to see if anybody was here," Finny says and glances at the pile of girls still on top of Edward. "Obviously there was." The others were now forming a line to get a hug from Edward. Finny and Ver quickly join the end of the long line.

When they finally arrive in front of Edward he smiles at them and says: "Not you! You've got enough hugs!" and in a lower whisper he tells them "and you'll get even more once we are out of here again!" You know what happens now? Alright, Ver faints again and Finny blushes deep crimson. The other girls in the chat room watch the three of them suspiciously but they are too happy that Edward is in the chat, so they don't want to put up a fight this evening. Jeff looks suspiciously at Edward too, because Booky seems to have been distracted since the vampire's arrival.

Edward, who is still surrounded by lots of teenage girls looks totally confused as Halee asks him if he has a cookie for her. He looks even more confused when everybody is suddenly rolling on the floor, laughing. In this moment Wolfi enters the chat and presents her new layout: CULLEN COOKIES! Another wave of laugher floods through the room.

"Finny, Ver...could you please explain that to me?", asks Edward.

The two girls blush scarlet again and shyly try to explain that cookies is used as another word for "sex" here. Edward's eyes grow wide. Is that fear? He looks around and sees about a dozen young girls gazing at him.

"Finny...Ver?"

"Yes?"

"Can...can we...can we leave? Please?" Edward flees the room as fast as he can and, as we know he is a vampire, that's pretty fast. Finny and Ver go around the room hugging everybody and then follow Edward. The last thing they hear before the door closes behind them is hysterical laughing and few shouts that sound a lot like: "You have fun with Edward cookies Ver and Finny!"

Edward looks at the girls with slight horror still in his eyes.

"Are you going to ask for cookies, too?" Ver and Finny glance at each other and burst laughing. Edward looks at them confused and waits for them to calm down. Finny wipes tears off of her eyes and walks up to Edward. She has to tilt her head a lot to be able to look Edward in the eyes. She doesn't say anything.

"Did you have something to say to me?" Edward asks after he has stared in Finny's eyes for awhile.

"Umm...," Finny seems to be confused. "I did, but your eyes dazzled me so I forgot what it was." She blushes (I can see that's becoming her trademark...) and looks down. Edward ties his arms around her.

"It's alright. That's just the way you are," Edward whispers in her ear. And, so that Ver doesn't do all the fainting, Finny faints, leaving Edward sighing gently and catching her.

"Hey you two! Didn't you wanna leave?" Ver cries and pulls them towards the super plane, forcing them to enter.

"Ver, is everything alright?" Edward asks with concern in his voice. She turns around to him with a large smile upon her face.

"More than alright! I had such a brilliant idea!" The "mwahahahha" sound which follows makes Finny and Edward think of the worst.

After another little fight over who will fly the super plane this time (it's Edward's turn now) Ver enters the goal in the navigation system and leans back in her seat. Smiling all the time.

"Ver, tell us where we are headed!" Finny demands with some fear in her eyes, because she knows that Ver is sometimes a little crazy.

"Yes, please tell us!" Edward says and with using his dazzling powers (wonder if that is his real gift) he finally gets Ver to tell her plan.

Finny's and Edward's eyes grow wide when they hear the excited scream: "KARAOKE!"

"Oh! That's a great idea, Ver! I can't wait to hear Edward sing," Finny says excitedly, forgetting that Edward is sitting next to her. He coughs meaningfully and looks at Finny. She blushes and leaves to get the map of Tokyo. Ver puts on some music to practise before they get to Japan.

So imagine: A high-speed plane on its way to Tokyo City, Japan, flying in a crashing speed while playing movie love songs in an ear crashing volume. In it three passengers: Two loudly and not very correctly singing girls and a crooked smiling vampire who is not really sure of what exactly is happening to him now.

But this vision doesn't even last for five minutes, because the famous super plane has finally made its way to Japan and is landing in the fashion quarter of Tokyo City, Shibuya. Ver is totally excited and pulls Finny and Edward impatiently to next Karaoke Pub.

As they enter the Pub, Ver and Edward go pick the song up and Finny goes to a table and starts reading her copy of New Moon.

She doesn't want to be disturbed and we all know why. So Edward and Ver have some time alone and before Ver is able to stop the handsome vampire, he has already given his chosen song to the DJ. With a bright smile on his face he puts his arm around her waist and whispers: "I hope you can dance the mambo!"

Before Ver can answer the first notes of "Time of my Life" of the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack are already starting and Edward grabs the microphone headsets, puts them on himself and Ver and pulls the confused and almost ready-to-faint girl to the dance floor.

"Edward- do you really think this is a good idea?" Ver asks shyly and embarrassed. Finny, who finally made it to look away from NM for some seconds grins devilish at Ver, as she knows that Ver mostly wins the award for Miss Clumsiness. Then she puts her eyes back on the book again and orders a box of tissues from the waiter.

Edward doesn't answer Ver, he just takes the right dancing position and starts whirling Ver around the dance floor. Ver seems to do fine for a few minutes but then she trips for the first time. Edward saves her but the next time she isn't so lucky. This time Ver falls to the ground and sits there looking miserable. Edward picks her up and makes her continue the dance. After some more tripping and Finny falling of her chair watching Ver trying to dance, the DJ has mercy on Ver and cuts the song short. Edward and Ver get huge applause and he walks her to the table where Finny is sitting and crying her eyes off.

"Oh Finny! I can't stand seeing you cry like that. What's wrong?" Edward asks and sits next to the girl.

"Why did you have to leave her?" Finny shouts between her sobs and tries to hit Edward.

"Oh right... New Moon..." he is silent for awhile. "Don't you care about that." he finally says and wipes Finny's tears away with his sleeve. "Let's go and sing Karaoke instead." he says and pulls terrified Finny to the DJ's table.

The DJ, whose eyes have grown wide seeing this handsome guy with two girls, gets Edward's next song to play. Edward whispers to Finny:

"I hope you know Grease!"

Finny makes a step back, but escaping isn't possible, because Edward holds her tight and immediately starts dancing and singing when the music begins. His voice is perfect, no wrong tune. His dancing is perfect, too. And Finny? Well, her singing isn't bad either, but she is still so touched by NM and so shocked that she shouldn't dance- no rock 'n ' roll- so suddenly and with the hottest guy that ever walked on earth, she almost tops Ver's tripping high score. So while Edward is dancing better than John Travolta ever did and saving Finny from breaking her legs at the same time, Ver is rolling over the floor, laughing. She has tears in her eyes, too, now. (She doesn't laugh only about the funny view of Finny and Ed- no, she tried to imagine how Edward would look like with Travolta's hairstyling in the Grease movie.)

But eventually this song is over, too (with lots of the DJ's mercy) and exhausted Finny and a smiling Edward take seats next to Ver again.

Finny stares in front of herself with a shocked expression on her face. She is still shaking from the nightmarish experience she just had. Edward ties his arms around her and she starts shaking even more.

"What did you have in mind next, Ver?" he asks Ver who's glaring at the two.

"I wont tell before I get a hug. I had to dance, too!" Edward chuckles at the offended look on Ver's face and hugs her. The two girls sigh blissfully and lean on Edward's chest.

"OK!", Ver says with an important tone. "What I would suggest is: Singing one last song and then getting back on the plane. I don't know exactly where to go next, but it should be a very comfortable place – I guess I need something to calm me down after that dance and I guess Finny shares my opinion concerning that."

Finny nods weakly and Edward pulls her even a little bit closer. He smiles.

"Alright, shouldn't forget you are still human."

He quickly brushes through their hair and goes to pay the check and chooses the last song he is going to sing for company. He climbs up on stage gracefully as always while Finny and Ver watch him with sparkling eyes. Both blush when he smiles in their direction and says:

"I dedicate the next song to my two wonderful girls, who I adore so much and who showed me how wonderful an evening can be. Finny and Ver."

Finny and Ver gasp when they recognize the first tunes of the song Edward chose. It's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith. Edward sings directly to them and when he's done they are almost fainting. Edward rushes to them and takes them outside to get some fresh air.

"Sweethearts, was my singing so bad to make you collapse?"

The two weakly shake their heads. Finny has tears in her eyes.

"It was ...too wonderful to be true!" She sobs.

Edward pinches both girls.

"Hey!"

"Just wanted to show you that you are not dreaming!" He grins.

He takes the girls' hands and takes them very gentleman-like to their super plane, happily sighing when he makes himself comfortable behind the steering wheel.

"Have I gotten to fly the plane at all?" Ver asks faintly from the chair beside Edward's.

"I'm not sure, but you're in no condition to fly right now," Edward says with authority.

"I guess you're right," Ver agrees yawning widely.

"I think I want to go any place where I can sleep," Finny says and yawns, too.

"Mhm," Ver mumbles half asleep.

"Your wish, my command, darlings," Edward smiles at them and makes the plane airborne.

After a short flight Edward lands the plane safe in the Cullen Garden. Both girls are almost asleep, not able to walk anymore, so he takes one on his back and one in bridal style and takes them into the big house, into his room. Softly he lies them down on the huge black leather couch and with a loving smile he brushes softly against their cheeks.

"Edward", Ver mumbles, while Finny grabs his hand and decides not the let it go again.

His butterscotch eyes have a mild sparkling and he starts singing "Lullaby-goodnight my angel" in a loving tone.

Before the two girls fall completely asleep they mumble:

"Love you...!"

Then their breathing becomes more regularly and their lids are closed. They are asleep, holding Edward's hands.

The vampire lays down between the two and smiles.

"Love ya, too. "


End file.
